I did it! I left a career that I wanted for so long, and worked my ass off for, only to leave it and start over down a new path.
I wanted to be a TV journalist for the longest time. I worked so hard and dedicated so many hours into starting my career and getting my foot in the door. And I did it. I landed my first TV job two years ago. My mentors told me that the first job is the hardest to land and I got it, and in a great city.
I truly believe I went into the field for the right reasons. I knew it wasn’t going to be glamorous, I knew it would be hard work, I knew I would have to make sacrifices in my personal/family life, but I just thought it would all pay off. I thought it would all be worth it at the end of the day.
But at the end of my work days I would be exhausted, drained, and sometimes incredibly sad. If it wasn’t the story or newsroom environment bringing me down, it would be my own self. I would constantly be beating myself up, always feeling like I didn’t do enough, or wasn’t good enough. And when it wasn’t those things, it would the constant anxiety and stress that came with getting interviews and meeting deadline. I was constantly stressed out and miserable. When I started comparing my good days to bad each week, bad days far outnumbered the good ones. And when I started dreading getting up each and every morning, I knew I had to get out.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been blessed with getting to work with some of the best journalists and forming long-lasting friendships . I’ve gotten to meet and interview some of the smartest and intriguing people. I’ve been able to sit down with complete strangers and tell their stories. But at the end of some of those stories I would just feel haunted or guilty. I would feel like I hadn’t done enough or was given enough time to get the whole story. Sometimes that’s just what happens when you have a few hours to turn a story for the 6 o’clock news.
There are a lot of reasons why I left, a lot of things I just can’t put into words, but this is the gist of it: I stopped looking at people as humans who needed help, but instead I looked at them for how great of a story they could be.
They say the grass isn’t greener on the other side. But right now, its looking pretty darn good. And I’ve never been happier with my career change.